'TWO CANS OF GUINNESS' or 'THERE'S N'AHT LIKE BARNSLEY'
lt was while visiting The lsle of Wight that we encountered two
unusual guests staying at our small hotel.
We first saw them come in together at breakfast time. Two men,
one very large about 6ft 6 in height the other 5ft 5 normal build.
l was sitting with my now wife, and this being one of our early
holidays together meant that we still giggled at next to nothing,
as young lovers do. l nudged her arm '' Who does he remind you
of '' My eyes flicking in their direction. She looked and didn't
immediately get it '' You know '' The Munsters' the bloke with a
bolt through his neck '' l exclaimed. She saw it now and we
nearly choked on our bacon and eggs trying not to burst out laughing.
Later on in the foyer while waiting for me she got into conversation
with the two as they came out. The small man Keith did all the talking.
Apparently they came from Barnsley, there was no where on Earth as
good a place, it was Gods little gem in Yorkshire, he was saying when l
joined them. Strangely, he didn't have an accent, there was no
'' There's now 't like Barnsley.'' Type talk. We made our goodbyes
and wishing each other a good day went our separate ways.
After dinner that evening we went out for a stroll around the Bay
and after awhile went into a pub for a drink. We both liked Guinness
so l went up to the bar to get them in. As l was standing waiting l
noticed the two blokes from our hotel sitting opposite our table.
Returning with the drinks and some more during the evening, l
noticed our 'friends' staring across in our direction a lot of the time.
This might have annoyed some men, but summing them up, l decided
they probably went on holiday together each year hoping to meet
some girls and have a good laugh, but it never happened and it was never
going to. They were looking, not in a leering sort of way but more wishful
thinking, studying our inter action and closeness, hoping to glean some
useful tips on how to act when in the company of a woman.
As we got up to leave Keith got up and zoomed over to us.
''l see you like Guinness, I've found a couple of cans in the drawer
of our room, you can have them if you like.'' He blurted out.
'' Thanks very much, very kind of you '' we both replied, between us.
Then departed and returned to our hotel.
Next morning we went down for breakfast as usual.
The entrance to the dining room had no door as such, it was just a
coloured glass surround going across the top and down the wall each side,
with an arched space in the middle leading into the room.
As we sat waiting to be served, we noticed that the
big fellow was seated and wondered were Keith was. Suddenly we saw
him speeding along the corridor clutching two cans of Guinness and in his
excitement not looking ahead, crashed into one side of the glass. BANG*+*
Everyone in the room looked in his direction. Keith, oblivious of any damage
he may have incurred to himself or the glass continued his journey to our table,
then clonked the cans down saying ''Here's the cans of Guinness l mentioned
last night '' and then sat down with his mate. We weren't giggling at that point.
For the rest of the week we were looked on with suspicion by the other guests
as we had now been indelibly linked to the two strange men from Barnsley.